Ash and Booker’s Take on the Binance Hullabaloo: A Crypto Rodeo Like No Other!

[CryptoButthead.com , November 21, 2023] Well, howdy Dudes and Dudettes! It’s us again, Ash and Booker, comin’ at ya with another wild tale from the crypto frontier. Now, we were fixin’ to jaw about the SEC swingin’ its lasso at the crypto scene, but wait wait … ’cause we got somethin’ even juicier.

So, gather ’round, ’cause we’re about to spill the beans on the latest hootenanny. Changpeng Zhao, the big kahuna at Binance, has gone and agreed to plead guilty to violatin’ them money launderin’ rules. Yep, you heard right. He’s coughin’ up a whopping $50 million and steppin’ down as the head honcho of his own creation. Now, if that ain’t a kick in the pants for the crypto world, I don’t know what is, especially after that FTX fiasco last year.

Remember what we told y’all before? Any crypto thingamajig, be it a token, influencer, exchange, or company, that struts around with a guru-like hero, is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. We’re talkin’ ’bout folks like Voyager Digital’s Stephen Ehrlich, who’s about as honest as a three-dollar bill, and Bitboy, who’s crazier than a road lizard. And don’t get us started on FTX’s Sam Bankman-Fried – that boy’s more out there than a satellite. Now, Binance’s CZ has joined the club, and we can’t say we’re surprised.

But let’s talk about Coinbase. That outfit’s gonna skyrocket, mark our words. When these offshore, big-guru, crypto startup wannabes showed up, we knew Coinbase was the real McCoy.

Now, the real kicker is the damage these varmints have done to the industry. They oughta be locked up and the key thrown away. Criminals, the lot of ’em.

Changpeng Zhao, the head of Binance, the world’s biggest crypto exchange, is takin’ the fall for money launderin’. Binance itself is coughin’ up $4.3 billion in fines and restitution. Zhao’s steppin’ down, and they’re bringin’ in a monitor to keep an eye on things. He’s barred from meddlin’ in Binance’s business for a good three years after the monitor’s set up.

The court papers paint a picture of Zhao and his crew tryin’ to dodge the law, includin’ the Bank Secrecy Act. They let customers from places like Cuba, Iran, and Syria use their platform, all of which are under sanctions. The feds say Zhao knew their efforts to block folks from these countries were about as effective as a chocolate teapot.

They’re charged with runnin’ an unlicensed money transmittin’ business, breakin’ bank secrecy laws, and violatin’ sanctions laws. They even did business with U.S. firms when they weren’t supposed to. Zhao tried to keep their dealings with big U.S. customers under wraps, usin’ methods that wouldn’t leave a trail.

For the young and fast-growin’ crypto world, this is a big ol’ deal, given Binance’s reach and Zhao’s influence. Binance has handled two-thirds of all digital currency trades at times, makin’ it a key player in the crypto rodeo.

Zhao’s guilty plea follows the Justice Department’s takedown of Sam Bankman-Fried earlier this month. And with the SEC filin’ lawsuits left and right, includin’ against Coinbase and Kraken, it’s been a regular roundup of crypto execs.

But here’s the thing, folks. If you wanna stay on the safe side of the corral, stick to the likes of Coinbase stocks, Microstrategy, Bitcoin, or Ethereum. That’s it. Don’t go chasin’ after every shiny new thing in the crypto world. Remember our words.

Ash and Booker, signin’ off. Peace!